Our first post of 2016!!!!!!!!!! Happy New Year to all of you in the Tribal family & beyond!!!!!! We’re finally, firmly inside the New Year. Now comes the time when we have to take the Christmas tree down, put away all the decorations, & basically watch as CVS & every pharmacy, Walmart & other venues are ALREADY stocking up their shelves with Valentine’s Day stuff. Can’t we get a break to let 2016 soak in a little bit 1st before cramming it down our throats, lol?
So January is the month of the year people feel a bit disoriented because just a few, short days & week prior, the excitement of Christmas & then New Years was all we could think of. Then, suddenly, comes January 1st & it all ends in a pretty anti-climatic way. For those of you living in colder latitudes, I like to quote something a friend of mine who used to live in Washington, DC said to me: “What sucks most about living in a cold area is that once the holidays are over, it’s a 2 + month stretch of winter. At least *during* the holidays you had lights, decorations & all that other stuff to keep your mind off the cold”. Lol. I don’t blame my friend for thinking this, but remember, New Year, new people, new beginnings, so why not start it all off with your best foot forward & with a set of goals on improving yourself during the course of the next 12 months? Inside our ADHD family & Tribe, this is especially important because it lays out a concrete path for you to stick to in order to make the rest of the year your best one yet.
I came across this article from www.chopra.com/ccl/how-to-create-healthy-habits-in-the-new-year recently & the steps outlined therein perfectly mesh with how we, as an ADHD family should tackle our goals in the New Year & re-tool strategies so we can be like a fine-tuned car, ready to have the rubber hit the road.
Number one & two are VERY important for us especially because as lofty as our minds are in wanting to get as much done as quickly as possible & see results as quickly as possible, we tend to become very self-defeating when we aim too high & maybe fall short in the beginning. There’s nothing wrong with aiming high on ANY goal whatsoever. It’s just important to do so in a realistic manner, & in the ADHD, non-linear way of going about things, it’s important to deconstruct a project & go about it in “chunks” so that it doesn’t become overwhelming & overbearing. These two steps in the article are VERY important because it prevents failure – or the perception of failure- early on, & allows other goals to be successfully tackled; it’s like a cascade effect. Once the first few resolutions or goals of the New Year are implemented you get a sense of satisfaction & like you can conquer the world, which you can! 90% of the process is attitude.
The last three of the article are particularly poignant for us & can also make ALL the difference in feeling fulfilled, successful & above all, happy.
“Birds of a feather flock together”, time told saying which is true now & always. Sometimes it’s a good idea to take stock of who & what we allow into our lives & do a little housecleaning. All it takes is one person who isn’t happy with themselves, that projects their feelings of non-self-worth, insecurities or worse unto another to become a real emotional vampire & suck the positivity & good-will from that other person. Best to quietly banish such individuals from our lives, wish them the best, but not allow them to treat you as an emotional punching bag or repository for their negativity. As the article says, “Remember That You Are Deserving”. There’s nothing wrong at all with putting yourself first sometimes & being happy so that you can help others afterward. Many make the mistake of thinking that allowing emotional vampires to continue sapping them of their happiness or allowing negative people to suffocate them is being a friend. I love the metaphor used of putting the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping those around you. Totally apropos for what we are talking about.
Finally, in closing, “Be Gentle With Yourself”; This also meshes perfectly with what I’ve said before on members of the ADHD Tribe beating themselves up over perceived or real failures. No one is perfect, & although it may sound cliched, it’s just an opportunity to learn from that & move forward, wiser, smarter, better, improved, kinder, & enlightened.
So that’s a wrap for now in 2016 my ADHD Family!!!!!! Hoping the 1st bit of this year is going great & when you think it’s not, come back to the advice given here & DON’T sell yourselves short EVER!!!!! Cheers for now and talk to you soon! – Mauro Bagnariol