Ah, the tried and true art of wanting to find a mate or partner. It usually goes a little something like this: Both parties put their best face forward on the first and subsequent dates — because everyone wants to present the best version of themselves — and then at some stage, if the chemistry is there, both sides start letting the other know the cons along with the pros that come with having them in their lives.
Such is the courtship ritual that pretty much everyone does. It’s a facade in a way because you’re putting forth your best show in order to impress and initially sweeping under the rug (for later) the stuff that may not get that 2nd date; it’s the human equivalent of the peacock showing it’s nice, beautiful feathers.
For the ADD/ADHD individual, this is made all the more frustrating because the hyperactives in our bunch can come across as a bit too frenetic, too many ideas and plans criss-crossing each other, while the inattentives in our family can find it hard to focus or keep pace when date time comes, a time where you’re already frazzled.
Then there’s that darned impulsivity both camps harbor and that comes out at the most inopportune times…….tsk tsk tsk……….
As I’ve written about before, we’re left with a sense of “they don’t get me” and as if our best traits, both outside and inside our ADD/ADHD are being overlooked and as mentioned, a pervasive sense of “doesn’t get me” lingers and the person is left feeling like they’ll never find “the one”.
I like to follow my mother’s maxim that “a relationship should be the compliment to already existing happiness; to not depend on any other for your own inner happiness”.
Whether dating or courting someone from within the ADD/ADHD Tribe or outside, it’s important that people follow my mother’s advice (mother’s always know best) and have that person be an adjunct to your already existing inner peace and happiness; everything else falls into place.
Remember that your non-linear approach to life and way of thinking is an asset others don’t have. Use that to wow your next first date. Rather than having a dull conversation about mundane things, think outside the box and be spontaneous in both topic and plans made for the first and future dates!
Love you all! Talk to you soon my fellow Pack People!